It’s good to be a kid at heart, but not a five year old in attitude.
Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.
I like my women how I like my coffee. Overpriced from Starbucks.
If you can’t tie your shoes, it doesn’t mean you are stupid. It means you are just thinking of a more creative way.
That moment when you grow a mustache and realize you can never go to a playground ever again.
Nothing sucks more, than a vacuum
I want to play the game rock, paper, scissors, Chris Brown. But Chris Brown beats everything.
"Real"ity is "real"ly a "real" word.
I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them….well….because they are fricken old Sam I am!!!
Sometimes wanting it so much is just a thought and not a need.